To choose to stay in a place for the sake of the voice that told you that you were meant to stay there probably sounds crazy to most people. To choose to dig deeper roots into a town where I have experienced rejection that goes deeper than I care to remember sounds foolish. But despite any solidified proof of projected success, stability or safe haven I listened to that still small voice that said there was more for me here, and to hold on because he loves to make something out of nothing. This artist can do a lot with a blank page, and he has good things in store.
Earlier this year I had the honor of hearing Andrew Peterson speak at my alma mater which has a pattern of attracting really gifted authors and artists (Makoto and Haejin Sim Fujimura to name a couple). And one of the reasons I am convinced that God sends people into our lives at very specific times is because I've had people speak in to me with such intentional words that can only be from God over and over again in the past couple years, despite or maybe in light of some of the harder realities I've had to endure.
One of the things that struck me most about Andrew Peterson's talk was when he talked about the euchatastrophy which google defines as "a sudden and favorable resolution of events in a story" but Andrew calls it"the hope I looked for." He went on to talk about how a poet by the name of George McDonald wrote one of his most beautiful poems in one of the darkest places of his life that he called his "exile."
There is a theme of people, particularly artists and writers but also every day folk finding their last bit of hope in the midst of the deepest trials that they find themselves in. And that hope is what sparks a revival which results in a beauty and renewal that can only be described as incarnational. Van Gogh painted Starry Night behind the iron bars of an insane asylum. Makoto Fujimura wrote "Refractions" and created many beautiful paintings while he lived at ground zero in the aftermath of the 911 tragedy. Paul wrote to Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians and Philemon while in prison and John was literally exiled to the island of Patmos where he wrote the book that is called Revelation.
It is clear that God is not limited by any of our dire circumstances. In fact, it seems like he becomes more visible to us and is more easily heard when we find ourselves in those situations which seem least hopeful of all, but where our complete attention is devoted to God because we recognize our need for him more than ever.
I had found myself in one of those places at the beginning of the year and was truly confused why God would call me to a place to just rip the rug right out from underneath my dream of serving in ministry. And then I learned that anything can become an idol as soon as you realize that you can't live without it or you no longer think you need God to do it. If this was a test from God then it truly felt cruel, like sticking a red hot iron on an old wound that had just got to healing. But I know that I don't serve a cruel God, and that he wouldn't be taking me out of something if there wasn't a reason for it or something better he had for me instead.
I couldn't have foreseen the heartbreaking events that would follow later on after my role had already ended which proved the Lord's safe guiding hand was always with me even in the midst of a season where I still had to grieve the end of my time with a community that shaped me into the person I am today.
And because I was redirected from what I thought was for me, I was able to accept an opportunity that I wouldn't have had the chance to if I had received what I thought I was meant to at the time. This opportunity looked like me jumping 2 feet WAY IN to working for the outdoor adventure company called Higher Ground which I had first been introduced to in college through a series of crazy connections that you can't make up!
In 2019 I worked for a camp called Camp BlueSky which was started by Kim Pace, a WinShaper who wanted to start a camp similar to WinShape Camps in Nairobi, Kenya. After having the summer of a lifetime I left with full spirits but was disappointed that I never got the chance to work with the oldest campers who would take a trip filled with outdoor adventures including rappelling down a waterfall and camping.
Coming back to college I worked for the outdoor program on campus called BOLD where I was introduced to a certain professional named Kelli Duncan who worked for a local outdoor company. We co-facilitated a program together which then turned into her inviting me to consider working for them at Higher Ground. I gladly accepted and couldn't have predicted that 5 years later I would be leading the outdoor adventure weeks for BlueSky's sister camp, WinShape Camps through Higher Ground. The Lord made me available so that I could say yes to the type of week I had dreamed of getting to lead at BlueSky, and now I got to do it 4 times over. While swimming, canoeing, hiking, climbing and backpacking through the rivers and hills of Georgia and Alabama I was overcome with the assuredness that the Lord knew exactly what he was doing all along, I just had to be willing to hang on long enough to see his vision through.
And in the weeks that I'm not galavanting all across the southeast's national parks I have finally been able to devote time to making and teaching my art! I've grown closer to God through dependence on him and to local artists who have become friends and have collaborated to host an exhibit to connect Roman artists to each other, to God and to support a couple within our church who recently adopted a little girl.
I'm grateful for what God has made known from the unknowns and what he has created from the spaces I couldn't see anything good coming from. May the Lord continue to make something out of me in the place that he has put me in, but even more than that, may he make himself be known to the people I encounter and through the places and creations that I make. So even though the beginning of the year felt like an exile, I've come to see how it became my revival.
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